So we got an email from an avid TWYMX fan from the west coast with a situation she’s currently embroiled in, asking for advice from us and the TWYMX fans. Our reader writes:
So I’ve been dating this guy for a couple months, and to me, it’s just been a casual thing, no real commitment. But he clearly is way more into me and wants a real serious relationship with me. I haven’t actually made it clear to him that I don’t want that, and I actually want to date other people. And yes, this is a sexual relationship. But I mean he’s “joking” around about marriage and shit! WTF! But I do like him, otherwise I wouldn’t keep seeing him. Then along comes this other guy. He’s someone I’ve sort of known, but recently have started “talking” to and started dating him, while still seeing the “marriage” guy. I like them both and don’t want to stop seeing either of them. But the first guy would be CRUSHED if he found out I was having a sexual relationship with another guy. This new guy never asked if I was seeing anyone else so it’s never come up. For all I know, he’s doing the same thing.
I need help!! Am I being too selfish? Am I a bad person? I don’t want to hurt either of them but I don’t want to stop seeing them. What do I do???
So, what should she do? I’ve already given her my advice and told her that, unless she’s ok with being sneaky and dishonest, that she needs to come clean with the first guy. You may be all shocked by this since I advocate casually dating multiple people at once. But what I DON’T advocate is being dishonest about it. So I say she needs to come clean with the first guy. And DON’T bring it up with guy #2 unless he asks.